you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
