in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
