So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
