I'm jealous of your bromance
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
