you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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