Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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