I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
