Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
