nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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