A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
