a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
