If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My breasts were aching with rage.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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