So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize