TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize