What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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