Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
