rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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