I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
