well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
