i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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