Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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