i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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