Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
