how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
