i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
