I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
time to smoke my breakfast
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Rumble strips road head = magical
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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