Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
one two three fourrrrnication!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
