I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
