It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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