Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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