This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
