I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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