So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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