This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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