ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The cops high fived after they tackled you
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize