I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
