Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
