tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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