so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize