i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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