Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
