your parents love me but you hate me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
