you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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