I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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