i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
