Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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