its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
