the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
