I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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