Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
