Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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