i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
