Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
