why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize