A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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