When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
