I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
