I want to have your abortion
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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