you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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