Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
