you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
