Dual....:-)
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
