everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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