I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
