booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
