don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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