everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
