Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
